i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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