I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
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