My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
