How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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