She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize