Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
