so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
