Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
