Betty ford says i'm here all night
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We have started to decorate penises.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
