That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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