I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
