Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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