fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
