You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
