It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize