all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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