I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
