i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize