so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
a search helicopter?!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
