the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
