Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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