some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
