I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
