I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
