my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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