either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
