ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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