If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My life is pants optional.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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