I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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