How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
