The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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