This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
