Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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