I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
