Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize