on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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