"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
