I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
