flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
