By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
