sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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