dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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