You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
