No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
