it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
