Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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