The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
