I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize