How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
