Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
