she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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