Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
