fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize