Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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