How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish I could teleport
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
