So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
